There’s a great song by Larry Groce called Junk Food Junkie. If you Google it, you’ll find that it was released in 1976 but don’t dismiss this comic gem because of its age. It’s the story of a man living two lives. By day he is the epitome of natural living: Natural fibers, organic products, vegan meals, composting, recycling, low carbon footprint. But at night, when no one is watching, his alter ego emerges. He binges on Big Macs and twinkies and drinks corn syrup sweetened caffeinated beverages while hiding in his closet. Continue reading
This year Valentine’s Day is a little sadder than normal for a lot of us. I am not talking about the single geeks who always must endure the syrupy sweet bitterness of a lonely heart on February 14th. I am talking about the lack of Necco Conversation Hearts to share with that special someone.
I can still remember those elementary school days where we swapped valentines and if you were lucky maybe that special someone you had your eye on would give you a small green heart with “Be Mine” or “Kiss Me” stamped on it. I remember getting a box of them and going to school and doling out the tiny symbols of my affection to all of the little girls I had hopes of getting to hold my hand. If I was really lucky maybe I would get my name written in a paper fortune teller (look that one up if you don’t remember them).
You see, last year Necco, who had been making these staples of Valentine’s Day treats since 1902, went out of business leaving a hole in the hearts of little boys everywhere. In 2018 when they closed, Necco was producing billions of Sweethearts candies every year. In fact, according to Candystore.com (Link), the candy hearts business represents almost 1.8B in sales every year. The popular Sweethearts may make a comeback next year as they were bought by another company, Spangler Candy Company. This year there is a shortage as existing stocks of the beloved candies dwindle, and prices begin to creep up ($25 for a 5lb bag).
Candy companies like Brach’s are looking to fill the gaps but to me, it still won’t be the same. I will have to be satisfied with telling my kids the ole “back when I was your age…” stories, scouring Amazon for some reasonably priced Necco candy, and waiting for next year to see if I can convince GeekMom to “Kiss Me” with a tiny green candy heart.
I know. Losing your child once at a location can happen to anybody. But losing them a second time takes a special kind of person. Or family in this case.
I would like to point out up front that neither this loss nor the first one were in any way due to neglect. I don’t need anybody reporting us to Family Services. We have an overly energetic, highly intelligent, boy who takes great pleasure in making his parents look like lunatics. Seriously. Continue reading
No! You can’t make me do it! SLAM
I hate you! SLAM
I don’t want to go to my room! SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM
Maybe it’s just us, but door slamming has from time to time been a serious issue in our house. My kids have each at different points in their lives felt that this was the ultimate way to inform their father and me of their intense displeasure about a given situation. So I decided to find a solution. Continue reading
We love Disney. I truly can’t say that enough. We are a Disney family and we love visiting our home away from home. But even the best visits, the most magical visits, have their not so great moments. This particular not so great moment happened as we were preparing to leave. Continue reading
Our frying pan died. It was a natural death. A part fell off and it was no longer useful.
This loss led my husband and me to discuss the state of our cookware. This, in turn, led to me pulling all the cookware out of the cabinet, with the lids, so we could further discuss which items were no longer useful or needed to be replaced. And that discussion led to a cleaner cabinet, a few more pots and pans in the dead pile, and a need to buy 3 non-stick saucepans. Continue reading
I lost my right arm.
I mean, I didn’t ACTUALLY lose my right arm. But I did lose my phone and that’s basically the same thing, right?
Most of us have put our phone down somewhere, started an activity, and then forgotten exactly where we put our phone. This usually happens at home when you’re trying to cook dinner, wash clothes, feed the dog, and prevent your kids from killing each other all at the same time. Typically once things have calmed down you find your phone hiding in plain sight or maybe stuck in your back pocket. Worst case, you borrow your husband’s or child’s phone and call your phone. And as long as the ringer is turned on that will work.
I lost my phone at dinner. At a restaurant. That was basically empty. Continue reading
What do coconut oil, nail polish, Nerds and nose bleeds have in common? No this is not a convoluted word problem. And those are candy Nerds not smart people.
Give up? The answer = a 4 year old boy.
Yes. After a relatively nice dinner with friends we came home to what at first seemed to be a quiet house. I was excited to think that the boy might actually be in bed, asleep. And then I noticed that the sitter was not immediately visible. This should have been my first clue but I continued in my delusion and assumed that all was well and she was just upstairs checking on the little prince. This bliss lasted for about 10 more seconds and then the sitter came around the corner and seemed out of breath. Uh-Oh. Continue reading